


Cocky Son of a Bitch

by Juuzous_Mother



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Because of Reasons, Erwin Has Both of His Arms, Everyone Is Alive, FUCK, GODBLESS, M/M, Nonbinary Hange Zoë, Probably ooc, and even then, because fuck you, everyone gets along, i have no idea how watching basketball works, i've only ever PLAYED it, levi and erwin are set up, levi is so horny omg, only gay, there is no pain, this is gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-27
Updated: 2015-12-27
Packaged: 2018-05-09 17:47:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5549693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Juuzous_Mother/pseuds/Juuzous_Mother
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi didn’t even want to be here. But when Isabel and Farlan presented the extra ticket to him, and Isabel used those fucking doe eyes, he couldn’t say no.<br/>As soon as he approached his row (5A, on the home team’s side), he regretted that weakness.<br/>It’s not that he didn’t like basketball-- he’d been rooting for the Maria Scouts since he was a young boy, and today they were playing their rivals, the Homeland Titans. No, it was that the person he had to sit next to was Erwin fucking Smith, Levi’s number one rival, and definitely not his secret… “crush” sounded too innocent…. his secret infatuation.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cocky Son of a Bitch

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt (off Tumblr, of course, because I have no life):  
> We accidentally sat together in the basketball match because God hates me and you are hot but you are a piece of cocky shit and I can’t stand you but HERE’S THE FUCKING KISS CAM and this is a challenge motherfucker, so let’s kiss AU.

Levi didn’t even want to be here. But when Isabel and Farlan presented the extra ticket to him, and Isabel used those fucking doe eyes, he couldn’t say no.

As soon as he approached his row (5A, on the home team’s side), he regretted that weakness.

It’s not that he didn’t _like_ basketball-- he’d been rooting for the Maria Scouts since he was a young boy, and today they were playing their rivals, the Homeland Titans. No, it was that the person he had to sit next to was Erwin _fucking_ Smith, _Levi’s_ number one rival, and definitely not his secret… “crush” sounded too innocent…. his secret infatuation.

Oh. He almost forgot to mention that Erwin was a fucking cocky piece of shit. A very _sexy_ cocky piece of shit. But a piece of cocky shit nonetheless.

When Levi had been shown his seat and saw the blonde, chiseled fucking sex god that occupied the seat next to his, he had tried his best to get someone to swap seats with him. But no one seemed to want to. Eren, Isabel’s cousin, wanted to sit in the aisle seat, Isabel wanted to sit next to Eren, and Levi knew better than to try and separate Farlan from his freaking “secret” girlfriend.

What had made it worse, though, was that Erwin acknowledged his presence. When Levi (begrudgingly) sat, Erwin turned his head towards him and fucking smirked. Or maybe it was a genuine smile. And then he said, voice full of spite and sarcasm, “Levi. Nice to see you.”. Well, okay, there was a _small_ chance that it was genuine pleasure in his voice. But if, on the off chance that _was_ the case, Levi had chosen to ignore it, instead grunting in acknowledgement.

And Levi _certainly_ didn’t see Erwin’s face fall ever so slightly. Nope. Not at all.

The icing on the fucking cake was that Erwin looked damn _fuckable_. His white jeans hugged him in very nice places, and the loose Scouts jersey he wore displayed his muscular arms. Levi was pretty sure God hated him. Or loved him. But either way, if there was a Hell, that’s where Levi was going, because calling his current thoughts “sins” was a bit of an understatement.

Levi buried those thoughts, and he did a damn good job of it at that. For the first quarter of the game, that was. The second quarter, things got a little difficult. And Levi _definitely_ didn’t latch onto Erwin’s hand when “Zoe, 69” ,one of Levi’s close friends was almost run over by “Hoover, 42”, which caused them to lash out at the tall man. Start a fight. Great fucking idea, Hange. Oh, god. “Braun, 24” was now having to be held back to avoid lunging towards Hange in defense of his boyfriend.

Finally, though, Annie Leonhardt, Braun’s half sister and the Titans’ coach, and Levi’s cousin Mikasa (a cheerleader for the Scouts) stepped in and stopped the fist fight just before it turned too ugly. Hange grinned and wiped the blood from their mouth. Fucking. _Gross_.

The game went on on the referee’s call, though no free shots were given to Hange “on account of their inappropriate and unsportsmanlike behavior”. Levi, without looking at Erwin, placed his hand uncomfortably on his lap.

Just before the halftime break, Eren got up, saying he had to go to the bathroom. A few minutes later, Farlan excused himself to go get a beer. Now the halftime break started, and Isabel went to grab some nachos. Which left Levi with Erwin. Alone. Shit.

Erwin chuckled. Levi’s head snapped up, his eyes landing immediately on Erwin’s (extremely handsome) face, only to see that he was laughing at the screen. The kiss cam was on, focusing on Bertolt (“Hoover”) and Reiner (“Braun”), who were very obviously smiling into the kiss and-- holy shit. Now the screen was showing two very familiar faces. And one was his own. The other was Erwin’s. Whatthehellwhatthehellwhatthehell?

Levi swallowed down his panic and looked at Erwin. You know what? No. _Challenge fucking accepted_. Levi raised a brow at Erwin, who smirked in reply. Oh, yeah. It was so on. This is a challenge, motherfucker.

Their faces got closer. Closer. Wow, Erwin’s eyes were fucking gorgeous, especially when they were flickering down to his lips every so often. A warm hand tilted Levi’s face to the side. Their lips were a centimeter away from touching. He heard the crowd yelling “DO IT DO IT DO IT!” in the background, though it was slightly muted, as if he and Erwin were in their own little bubble and oh, God, that was fucking cliche. Not as cliche, however, as the sparks that flew when his lips finally met with Erwin’s and oh, damn, he tasted good.

Levi pressed into the kiss, something clicking within him, and he tilted his head to get a better angle, deepening the kiss-- He was pulled away by two strong hands, and he felt Erwin’s silky blonde hair slip between his fingertips as he was raised high into the air, which was funny, because he certainly didn’t remember putting his hands there. First thing to figure out, though, was who the hell was lifting Levi into the air?

Levi looked down. Some letters. “24”. Reiner. Of course. _Remind me why I’m friends with him again?_ Levi thought to himself. Especially since he’s on the “enemy team”?

Oh. Right. Because Eren’s frenemies with Annie, Bertolt and Reiner.

“What the hell are you doing, Braun?” Levi hissed as he was dropped rather unceremoniously in the middle of the court.

The little shit only laughed before jogging back up to Erwin, who he, too, lifted over his shoulder. Only Reiner could lift someone an inch or two taller than him up and haul them over his shoulder. Dude was built like an ox. Briefly, Levi wondered why Reiner didn’t become a football player instead-- until, of course, he recalled some of the moves that had been displayed earlier by the fucking brute.

Erwin was placed next to him, and suddenly, they were surrounded by all of their friends. Bertolt and Mike stood towards the back, goofy smiles on their faces, but otherwise looking pretty happy for the two other men. Other than them, though, they were surrounded by exuberant people. Connie, Sasha, Mikasa, Eren, Annie, Reiner, Isabel, Farlan, Armin, Jean, Marco, and Hange were surrounding Erwin and Levi in a massive group hug, and oh, wow, this was all part of their plan, wasn’t it? Well, even if it was, none of it mattered- at least, not when Erwin pressed his lips to the crown of Levi’s head.

Cocky son of a bitch.

**Author's Note:**

> Do I know what I did? No  
> Do I ever? NOOOPE
> 
> Hange Zoe is my reason for life
> 
>  
> 
> the original title was "Eruri shit yaaaay gay old men", but I decided to deceive people. How? I don't know I'm tired it's 2 am and ugh


End file.
